i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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