Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
