At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
