Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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