Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
