i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
