Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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