these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
