you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I want a musical about memes.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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