if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
