I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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