It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
