8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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