His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
