i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
