That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
