The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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