Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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