When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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