Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
