So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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