Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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