Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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