it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
