Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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