Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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