I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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