i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
