hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
