really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
no. you can't hotbox the world.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
