6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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