you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
