yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
