i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
