Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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