how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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