I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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