Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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