hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
