I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
