quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
