they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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