I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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