So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
