I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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