no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
