So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
