420 ftw
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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