she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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