ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
