Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
God, I missed his penis.
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